Just like the Salt n Pepa song...

She's "artfully" demonstrating the "O" in Obese, here.  Isn't she just lovely?

So if you are at all cognizant of the Twittersphere and YouTube (and I am only minimally aware), you may have seen some of the hullabaloo over the last few days about the lady in the picture above.  She appears to me to be some sort of failed actress/dancer person who has now decided to call herself a comedian?  I'm not sure, but I'm sure that any of her fans who read this will make sure to correct me. She posted a video to her YouTube recently which she claims was a stand up routine created at the direction of her fans - I've never met a real comedian who let fans tell him/her what to talk about, but whatever.  The basic message was that fat people are awful and that shaming them is necessary to get them to be skinnier.  She made sure, of course, to disclaim the whole thing by saying it doesn't apply to people who have a bonafide health issue that affects their weight, but I guess that means that she has some sort of magical power that allows her to look at a person and automatically know why/how they got fat?  Anyway, her YouTube channel has been mysteriously dismantled, so the video is hard to find, but the rebuttal videos are plentiful and some of them are downright hilarious.  This one happens to be my personal favorite.

I tend to focus this blog around the positives of eating right and my running goals.  What I don't talk about very often is that, according to the BMI scale used by most physicians, I am classified as obese.  I've struggled with my weight all my life.  All. My. Life.  I won't talk about the bullying I endured as a kid because I'm 37 years old and what happens now is up to me.  But I will say that kids are killing themselves because of the kind of stuff I experienced when I was younger and it's not ok.  I will also say that my feelings about the fat acceptance movement as a whole are mixed.  Nonetheless, I don't think that skinny wanna-be celebrities have a place in that movement, either for or against it, because...

It's none of your business.

When I go out for a run in a sports bra, tank top, and running tights, just like every other runner on the streets of Philadelphia, I don't need someone to give me the old "up and down" and laugh.  Why?

Because it's none of your business.

And when other people pat me on the back like I'm a child and say, "I'm so proud of you!" when I return from said run all sweaty and spent, all I want to do is point out to them how incredibly condescending they are.  My fitness is a point of pride, but I'm not a child who needs a pat on the head for doing it.

After all, it's really none of your business.

I eat what I eat and I do what I do because it works for me and it keeps me accountable...TO ME.  Because it helps me fight off an actual medical condition that has made my weight a daily focus for more than two decades.  However, whether or not I have a "real" illness shouldn't matter to some comedian who just wants exemption from being called a bigoted asshole.  If she thinks that all fat people sit around not caring about their weight, she is clearly oblivious to how impossible that scenario is when people like her exist.  But I guess that doesn't really matter.

'Cause it's definitely none of her business.

Truth is, I have it pretty good as an "obese" person.  I fit perfectly into single seats on public transportation and on airplanes.  I can shop in most clothing stores, albeit at the high end of the size range.  I can run and jump and pick up my kids and all of the physical things that many people assume I'd rather not do in exchange for sitting on the couch and eating bon bons...or something. But there was a time when that wasn't the case, when I had 50 more lbs on my frame.  And I've seen how people treated me then versus how they treat me now, and it's disgusting.  I suppose people like that person up there think I should be happy to at least be getting a little less shit now that I'm a little less fat. 

But have I mentioned that someone's weight is no one else's business yet?

That's right.  How much I weigh and how I got there is my business.  And how much Nicole Arbour weighs is only her business too.  Yeah, sure, I'm blogging right now so I've at least made the words on this page the business of people besides me, but that's about it.  So if it annoys you that people like me have the gaul to walk the streets in clothes that make us feel confident, or that we have the nerve to insert food into our mouths anywhere outside of our own homes, or that we deign to think that public transportation was made for us too, I implore you remember one thing:

WHO WE ARE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

Run commute recap

So, in a nutshell: I did it! (Cue victory dance.)  Here's a brief recap of the experience:

- My route: I ran 3 miles from my starting point to just a few blocks away from my office, mostly by way of large main roads that cross the city.

- What went to the office on Monday: That basket up there, the hair dryer, the flat iron, a jar of course ground coffee and a personal french press to keep up my cold brew addiction, a container of coconut creamer for said coffee, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, a towel, and a bag with three work outfits plus undergarments.

- What I took with me on the run: That backpack up there plus the hand held water bottle, ear phones, iphone arm band, sunglasses, work shoes, lunch, ipad, iphone wallet, keys, and the hair brush I forgot to bring in on Monday.

- Things I didn't anticipate: The weight of the backpack slowed me down a bit.  Even as the palest person I know I forgot to put on sunscreen.  The backpack created new chafing spots that I didn't even know were possible.  And so. many. stop. lights.

- What I loved about it: I got a lot of high fives - center city runners are so nice! Even though it was still a hot and humid run, the temperature was way more tolerable than during midday runs.  And the best part? I was done with my day's workout before I even started my work day!

- What I will tweak: My next run is supposed to be 4.5 miles so my route is going to have to be lengthened, but I also want to find a way to avoid the big streets that are just light after light after light.  I'm also going to try to pack less in the bag - being weighted down by a tiny backpack should not be a factor. And also SUNSCREEN.

- Overall: I'm so glad I did this.  It felt like I was finally making it work with the run training.  I'm hoping to fit in two more run commutes this week, and after looking at my schedule, I think one of them might be a reverse commute after work.  

- What I need from you: My Rhapsody playlists need some serious updating.  What's your favorite running song?

Fitting it in: Let's try run commuting

This is the face I want to recreate at the Philadelphia Marathon in November.  It's the face of victory.  I wasn't the fastest Broad Street runner by far, but I finished.  And I didn't finish last, so there's that.  I trained hard for this race and I mean HARD.  I ran 3-4 times a week, I cross trained with spinning and BodyPump classes, and I ate like a freakin' champ.  But since then, I've made two attempts to train for a half marathon - the next logical step for a Type A weirdo who can't do anything if she's not outdoing herself - and both have failed.  The reasons behind my failures were perfectly understandable so I'm not beating myself up over that.  However, I am agonizing at how lax my training has been on this most recent attempt.  I just can't seem to find the time to run. I know half the people who read this will say I'm not trying hard enough and the other half will say I shouldn't be so tough on myself.  I've had to accept that I'm just not going to be that runner who gets up before dawn to go for daybreak runs and I'm too much of a workaholic to break midday to do it during lunch; evening runs are tough with two little kiddos to get to bed.  I'm just trying to buck up and figure it out.  I'm thinking the only way to guarantee that I get in a run is to try run commuting.  It takes a good deal of prep, though, so I thought I'd share my plan and update later on how it worked.

Step One: Gear Up

This plan requires a few accessories to help make it happen.  First, I need to be able to shower when I get to work, so I'll be setting up a basket in my office that has shampoo, conditioner, body wash, a brush, a hair dryer, and a flat iron (luckily I already have a spare Chi).  For the runs, I purchased an Osprey Daylite running backpack to carry the few things that I need to have each day.  I chose it because it has a waist strap that will keep it in place while I run, and it can also hold a hydration pack for my long weekend runs.  I also got a Nathan Quick Draw hand-held water bottle for the weekday runs since I won't have the luxury of stopping for water along the way - these runs all have to happen within an hour.  

Step Two: Prep

My current running schedule calls for three weekday runs and a long run over the weekend.  My plan is to come in to work on Monday with three extra work outfits and shoes, a small laundry bag, and a clean towel.  The dirty workout clothes and towel will go home with me on Fridays.  This way, all I need to carry in the backpack is my wallet, iPad, and lunch.  

Step Three: The Route

My weekday runs range from 3 miles to 5 miles and it's a little over 3 to get from my starting point to the office.  I will run straight there on my short run days, but the 5 milers will require some creativity.  My plan is to try running across the city, then up Kelly Drive, past the boathouses and back again in order to tack on some mileage.  There are endless possibilities, though, and I'll need to switch up the route often in order to stay motivated.  (I'm saving the Rocky Steps for when I really need a boost.)

Step Four: Yeah, that motivation thing

I am not gonna lie - motivation has certainly been a factor in this slow start.  Between work, family, and other stuff, there are days when I just say, "Well, I don't want to run today."  And on some of those days, I run anyway, only to remember the glorious high that comes at the end of the run.  Runners' high is not a myth, y'all.  When I slow to a strolling cool-down at the end of a run, I feel like a total warrior.  I haven't been feeling that way very much in my daily life, so a reminder of my badassery is very much in order.

So there it is.  My plan to become a three-day-a-week run commuter.  Think I got a shot?

Firing it up...

Has it really been two and a half years since I posted anything here?  I've been feeling inspired lately and thought maybe I should try to write a weekly post.  Ideally, I'd like to buy a URL, get a custom design, and really try to make something of this, but baby steps.

So what's happened since January 2013?  Let's see:

1) I ended up losing a total of about 50 lbs and have plateaued for the last year and a half or so.  One of my goals in starting up this writing again is to get back on that train.

2) In the fall of 2013, I decided to train for and run a 5K for cervical cancer in memory of my mother.  I figured I'd stop at 3.1.  Well that wasn't good enough so I trained for the 2014 Broad Street Run, a popular 10-miler in Philly.  Finished it.  Since then I've tried to train twice for a half marathon but was unsuccessful due to other updates that will reveal themselves below.  I'm now training for the third time and determined to git'er done.  I have a loose goal of completing a sprint tri by the time I'm 40 but that requires more weight loss.  See where I'm going here?

3) Also in the fall of 2013, my beautiful niece M was born in California.  Due to a variety of circumstances, she ended up in foster care just days after birth and we were asked if we would consider taking her.  We never hesitated for a second.  My husband and I began the arduous process of flying one of us to the west coast once a month for visits.  We opened our home to various agencies to qualify us as her foster parents.  Finally, after nine long months, M came to live with us in Philadelphia.  She is now almost two and we are working to adopt her.  She and her "big brother" C (now 4) are our awesome little crew and we couldn't be happier.  But training with that sort of schedule was tough.  So attempt #1 for a half marathon was out of the question.

4) This past winter I was on half-marathon attempt #2 when I came down with what I thought was a horrible cold that I'd caught from the kids.  But when my entire right shin swelled up and I became delirious, I knew it was more.  I landed in the hospital for four days with a case of cellulitis that was a combo of a strep infection gone wild and something that got into my system through - wait for it - a blister I got from running.  My doc and I still suspect that there might be some sort of auto-immune issue at play, but nothing major.  I have adjusted my training to be more yoga and running focused so that I'm not potentially causing adrenal fatigue. Nonetheless, the recovery from that stint was long and attempt #2 was down the drain.

5) We're finally building our new house!  It took nearly three years, but we are almost done with the money stuff and a builder is waiting to get to work.

6) Due to an awesome promotion at work, I'm still traveling but with more long distance, so I am working to incorporate healthy eating and exercise while I'm on the road.

That's all gotta be good for a few posts, right?

Well that sucked...

My First 30 Days of 2013 were more "utter failure" than the "zen yoga master eating clean and peacefully" that I'd intended.  For the first two weeks (yes WEEKS), I was suffering from what ended up being a nasty case of bronchitis. I've honestly never been so sick before.  The benefit was that I wasn't really eating much at all, so it was easy to stay paleo. And I did yoga every day for those first two weeks, even on my bronchitis death bed!  But it all went to hell in a hand basket when I headed off to San Diego and Las Vegas last week for work.  I was feeling much better, but my schedule was nuts.  So I ended up skipping out on a few yoga workouts and my eating went completely into the crapper.

So now I'm back, I'm fully healthy, I have a three day weekend, and I'm making use of the extra time to prep a whole bunch of stuff for the coming week so I have no excuses.  I'm on the road again for work but it's just two day trips.  My crockpot is going to be working overtime this week, but that's a good thing.  Here's the menu.  Stuff in bold is what I prepped ahead of time.

Breakfast for the week will be egg sandwiches on paleo biscuits (from a mix made by White Lion Baking Co.) with pork breakfast sausages.

Monday

Lunch - Potato, leek, and coconut soup.  I've come around to the relatively new belief in the paleo world that regular white potatoes can be paleo if eaten in moderation.  Hate on that if you'd like.  This soup is tasty.  The Kennebec potatoes and leeks that are in it are from our winter CSA share.

Dinner - Slow-cooker pulled pork with coffee rub.  I couldn't find a responsibly raised pork shoulder, so I just trimmed off all the fat I could and loaded it up with my own coffee rub recipe.  Tomorrow, I'll add a couple cups of beef broth and turn on the crockpot on low for 8 - 10 hours.  Yummers.

Tuesday

Lunch - Leftover pork.  (There will probably be lots of leftover pork and I'll freeze a bunch of it for a dinner down the road.)

Dinner - Chicken curry with spinach.  This is such an easy weeknight dinner that it requires little prepping.  The spinach is from our CSA and is ALWAYS gritty no matter how many times I wash, so I'm doing multiple wash and dries of the leaves.  Other than that, this dish consists of diced chicken, sliced carrots, and a bag of frozen sliced peppers plus coconut milk and some red curry paste. 

Wednesday

Lunch - Eating on the road in NYC (so probably Chipotle)

Dinner - Chocolate Chili.  I make this chili in the crockpot so that the flavors meld together all day long.  I also double the tomatoes and leave out the water.  To prep, I browned the meat today and put it in a freezer back with all the spices, onion, garlic, and tomato paste.  That went into the freezer and I'll pull it out on Tuesday night to thaw, add it to the crock with the other ingredients and then put it on to cook on Wednesday morning.  I have some frozen kale that I might saute and add on top.

Thursday

Lunch - leftover chili

Dinner - Broiled salmon and sauteed frozen spinach. 

Friday

Lunch - Back in NYC again (yup, Chipotle)

Dinner - Slow-cooked meatballs and sauce with sweet potato gnocchi.  I made the meatballs today, froze them on a cookie sheet, and then put them all in a freezer bag when they were fully frozen.  It's a simple recipe of ground pork and beef, diced onion, garlic, oregano, salt, pepper, and an egg and some almond meal to bind.  The sauce is store bought but was the one brand with no sugar in the ingredients.  I'll just throw two jars of it in the crock with the pre-rolled frozen meatballs and set it on low for 6-8 hours.  The gnocchi were something new for me and saying they were a bitch to make is an understatement.  I based things on this recipe, but I think if I do it again, I'll make sure to salt and mash the potatoes immediately after cooking and omit the egg.  This dough was just WAY too watery.  I used a ridiculous amount of coconut flour to keep things less sticky and they still look malformed.

Mutant sweet potato gnocchi

These are all in the freezer, laid out on cookie trays to freeze individually.  Tomorrow morning, I will transfer them to two separate freezer bags.  I have enough to feed a small army...or us, for two meals.

I'm planning on restarting my 30-day yoga challenge, but also hope to get in some gym workouts.  On the days I'm at the gym, I pledge to do 10-20 sun salutations for my yoga requirement.

The First 30 Days: Day 1

Well here we are in Day 1 of my "First 30 Days of 2013" Challenge. I've made breakfast for the week (see recipe below!) and have been grain/dairy free all day.  I'm fighting a pretty nasty cold and my coughing has made sleep difficult.  I'm determined to muster up the energy to do my first Yogaglo class later tonight, even if it's only a 30 minute session.  I know that all of this is going to make my body much better at fighting off infections like this one.

One of my favorite ways of "keeping paleo" with my hectic work schedule is to make breakfasts in advance so that I can just grab in the morning and go.  (Lunches are usually leftovers from the previous dinner.)  The best way of stocking up on breakfasts is to make them in casserole form.  There is absolutely nothing complicated about them and they cut into easy travel-size portions.

I'm tired and sick, today, but also incredibly excited to get back in gear.  I've lost 30 lbs but have a personal goal of losing another 50. To be honest, fifty is just what I think I need to lose in order to fit into the size I'd like to be and feel healthy.  If I get to that size before I get to 50, I'll consider it a success.  Did I mention that I'm not weighing myself during this challenge?  It's going to be hard, but I'm psyched to be more tuned into how I feel than what the numbers say.

--------------------------------------------------------
Asparagus, bacon, and caramelized onion breakfast casserole

I froze a ton of asparagus this summer but have found that it's sort of mushy thawed texture makes it really only viable in things like soups and casseroles.  One of my minor resolutions is to get through more of the fresh fruits and veg that I stockpiled over the summer, so this was a good way of getting through some of the asparagus.

2 lbs of asparagus, fresh or frozen, sliced into inch long pieces on the bias
2 small red onions sliced
10 strips of bacon
12 eggs
Salt
Pepper
Garlic powder

Preheat oven to 350

Cook bacon strips over medium-high heat in a frying pan until crispy.  Remove to a plate with paper towels to collect grease.

Without removing the bacon grease from the pan, add the onions and cook on medium-low heat until soft and partially caramelized (10-15 minutes).

Add asparagus and cook until everything is warm.  In the meantime, crack eggs into a bowl and beat fully.

Slice bacon into small pieces and place all over the bottom of a 9x12 baking pan.  Spread the asparagus and onion mixture on top.  Pour eggs over everything.

Sprinkle with salt, pepper, and garlic powder to taste.

Bake for 30-40 minutes until the eggs are solid.  Slice into whatever serving size you'd like.  Individual pieces can be wrapped in double layers of plastic or parchment and frozen.

Don't call it a comeback.

Even though this blog has been dark for some time, I promise that plenty has been cooking in Kenzo!  We finalized the purchase of the vacant house next door and we're working with an architect to draw up plans.  The fun surprise in all of this was that we purchased the entire block-to-block lot, which actually has two buildings - the house and a rear building, which is hopefully going to be turned into a cool modern work space for both me and the husband.  The not-so-fun surprise was a zoning issue that we have to get settled before financing can be obtained.  More to come on that.

In other news, I've dropped about 30 lbs, mostly due to an insulin resistance diagnosis which led to medication that has finally righted metabolic issues that have plagued me since high school.  Two other big factors have been my move into paleo eating and the establishment of a semi-regular yoga practice.  There is still a lot of cooking going on in our little crappy kitchen.  It's just mostly centered around meat and fresh veggies.  I'm hoping to bring you regular posts about my adventures, especially as I attempt to stay paleo while also streamlining our dinner making process so that we can eat dinner with the kiddo as many nights per week as possible.

December has been a rough month for staying on track with the whole paleo thing.  So many temptations and stresses.  So for my newest post, I am putting into writing my plan for the first 30 days of 2013, to get myself back in the groove of clean eating and regular exercise.  Don't call it a resolution, please.  We all know how those go.  I might keep this going long after January, but I'm trying to set a realistic goal that is still of a long enough duration that I'll be able to see results that might motivate me to continue.

Laura's First 30 Days of 2013

• Eating - We're going full-throttle Paleo, people.  With a Whole30 to end all Whole30s.  I've done two of these in the past, but they've never been 100% perfect.  This time, it's on. New Year's Day = kitchen purge and restock.
• Exercise - I'm taking on a "30 yoga sessions in 30 days" challenge.  But wait, you say, Who has money for 30 days at a yoga studio?  Not me, grasshoppers.  So I'm joining yogaglo.com.  You pay $18/month for unlimited access to online classes.  They even have mini tutorials for specific poses, which is something I was worried about since I'm still relatively new to the practice.  I have a bit of work travel in January, so it'll be awesome to to be able to take my laptop and just yoga my butt off in my hotel room.  I'll also be taking live classes at a Bikram (hot yoga) studio here in Philly and might try to hit the gym a couple times per week, too, for some weights and light cardio.
• Sleep - This is a big one.  I've noticed that my weight loss stalls during the times that I'm most busy at work, which means I'm on the laptop after Charlie is in bed and I work until midnight, then get up at 5 am.  So my goal for January is to get at least 7 hours of sleep each night.  That seems to be my minimum set point for optimum mental health and bodily function.  If it means I DVR Top Chef and watch it later, so be it.
• Mental health - Yogaglo also has some meditation classes.  I'm thinking of trying them.  Between weight loss stress, work stress, house-building stress, and the regular family stress we all endure, I just need an outlet.  Lately, it's been the occasional cigarette and that needs to stop RIGHT. NOW.  So meditation it is.  Say om, y'all.

What do you plan to do in the first 30 days of 2013?